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Growing up I pretty
much didn’t know anything about God,
faith or religion. The only thing I did
know about was by what I watched on
television.
In my early
adolescence my father tried taking my
brother and I to church and enrolled us
in CCD classes but at that age our minds
were totally elsewhere.
Not having any sort
of strict guidance through my teen years
I pretty much did what I wanted and not
thinking about any rules or punishments,
I was more or less making up my own.
Soon with some
encouragement from my older brother to
try smoking marijuana and drinking just
for fun and laughs. At first it was ok
because it made it a little easier to
talk with the girls and make new
friends.
I slowly made a
sport with it seeing how many days I
could do getting wasted. Little did I
know that I was developing a habit.
First, it was wanting to do it to
needing to do it. If I didn’t have those
few drinks I was totally non functional.
Not only was I changing physically but
also mentally. I had developed a sever
case of depression.
I needed help in
all aspects of my life but didn’t know
which direction to turn. I tried many
venues from psychologists, counselors,
ministers and the like but was going no
where fast.
I thought that if
I’d stop drinking for a while things
would slowly fall into place. I stayed
sober for seven years and slowly I began
to restart my life. I got a good paying
job, a beautiful girlfriend, a nice
house, everything a man could want with
extras.
One day I just got
bored, I got tired of going to work then
home, home to work, everyday. So I
decided to get a friend and go out and
have a few beers. After seven years I
felt like I could handle it. I was fine
the first couple of weeks and then I
started getting sick again along with
very bad mood swings. This lasted for
about a year and it had gotten to the
point where I was slowly losing
everything. My girlfriend threw me out,
I lost my job, my house, my truck, I
mean everything and before I knew it I
was one of those homeless person
standing on the median begging for
whatever I could get.
My first year I was
homeless I cursed everyone but I cursed
God most. I screamed at him “how could
you do this to me, what have I done that
was so bad that it lead me to this”.
After time I started pointing the finger
at myself.
I started praying,
short ones at first and then made them
into ones that would last me all day. I
begged God for forgiveness and guidance,
show me a path off of these streets and
I would walk it. It took me four years
of me pleading and begging God for mercy
for all of my wrongs to where he placed
his mighty hands on my shoulders and led
me out of my torment. And for that I can
only be eternally grateful.
It’s been a little
over nine months since I’ve been off the
streets and sober and every day I pray
and I give thanks and praise to God for
answering my prayers and for giving me
strength and guidance through his words
and teaching that I will never have the
want and need for alcohol, that I will
never have a card board box to call
home, that I will never have to look in
a dumpster for food, that I will never
have to beg from anyone ever again and I
vowed that I would never stray from God
ever again.
Michael
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